leaning
into the darkness,
away from the light,
a subtle shift,
an inclination toward the unknown,
toward the mysterious caliginosity beneath the waves’ surface.
an inclination away from the light,
where reality is stripped barren and blatant in its luminosity.
no secrets, no hope,
no potential anew.
he leans into the darkness,
into what could be,
flirting on the precipice of
falling
into the waters,
the tantalizing tepid now brutally
cold.
only to find that he has been seduced by the allure of
nothing.
abysmal emptiness.
he flails, attempts to rise to the surface,
but he cannot.
the light has long since dissipated
and darkness is a leaden weight.
it pulls him
down.
down.
down.
waiting
to hit rock bottom,
for his inevitable collision with the ocean floor.
surely, it will be fatal.
a deadweight,
falling,
paralyzed,
drowning,
he waits for the darkness to take him.
~
Analysis:
My poem is inspired by John Milton’s epic, Paradise Lost. Particularly, the poem focuses on Satan (“he” refers to Satan). Initially, Satan is tempted to rebel against God by the allure of power. This ascension to power, this unknown territory, is metaphorically conveyed by a body of water. The water is dark and murky such that one cannot discern what is beneath its surface. “Darkness” represents his internal evil, as where “lightness” represents goodness. When in the light/out of the water, Satan is subservient to God and generally morally rooted. However, launching into the “darkness” of the water conveys defiance of God and a rejection of morality. Satan is, to put it bluntly, bored with the light. He feels that adhering to goodness offers no potential to improve his state of existence (where he equates attaining power to a better quality of life). He is tempted by the potential of rebelling, of exploring the mysterious darkness. He flirts on the precipice of goodness and evil, leaning gently towards darkness. Ultimately, he succumbs to evil/Falls (metaphorically represented by his “falling” into the water). Satan scarcely considers that what lies below the water body’s surface could be “worse” than his current circumstances.
As Satan submerges in the water, he finds “the tantalizing tepid now brutally / cold.” Metaphorically, this shift conveys his transition from Hell to Paradise in Paradise Lost. It may seem strange that Hell is described favorably in light of Paradise (Hell as “the tantalizing tepid”, Paradise as “brutally cold”) , but for Satan, this makes sense. In Hell (where the work opens), Satan feels a sense of freedom. In Paradise, his inner evil proves tortuous rather than liberating - his perceived “freedom” in Hell proves illusory. In Book 1, when Satan is in Hell, he is staunch in his opposition to God and Heaven, and even declares that it is “Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven” (1.263). At first, embracing evil and rejecting servitude to God seems liberating to Satan. He is tempted by the prospect of greater freedom and power. But upon entry into Paradise, he finds that
“the hot Hell that always in him burns,
Though in mid Heaven, soon ended his delight,
And tortures him now more, the more he sees
Of pleasure, not for him ordained” (9.467 - 70).
He finds that he is restrained by his internal Hell. He feels irrevocably bound to a seemingly inescapable condition (Is it really inescapable? That is another question altogether, but for Satan it feels inescapable). This is reflected in my poem in that darkness is described as a “leaden weight” that literally drowns Satan, pulling him deeper into the water. Satan “attempts to rise to the surface, / but he cannot”, which represents his inability to repent. In Paradise Lost, Satan concludes that there is no way to repent “but by submission; and that word / Disdain forbids me [him]” (4.81 - 82). At this pivotal point, Satan resolves to surrender to evil, as he does not see any means of evading his tumultuous state of existence.
In my poem, Satan’s predetermination of an inevitable Fall and inability to repent (in other words, a surrender to darkness) is marked by passive language. He is described as a “deadweight” waiting “for his inevitable collision with the ocean floor.” This passivity signifies that Satan surrenders to his perception of fate - he does not actively attempt to divert his path beyond a brief initial struggle. If we consider Satan to be a self-limiting character and his belief in the inevitability of his Fall as his greatest limitation, the poem posits Satan as almost suicidal. As he first falls into the water, he struggles a bit, attempting to right himself (but to no avail). As he perceives his submission to darkness as inescapable and his chances of returning to lightness as null, he allows himself to drown, descending to the ocean floor, which “will be fatal.” Satan feels that he is bound to and controlled by his inner evil (in my poem, this darkness drowns him). But in actuality, his inner Hell is not a separate entity as he makes it out to be. Rather, it is an integral component of his being (and certainly not the entirety of his being). Yet he allows this one part of himself to consume his entire identity, so that he is inextricably tied to evil. Satan’s ultimate acquiescence to these self limiting beliefs (rather tragically) culminates in his waiting “for the darkness to take him.”
Tag to Caliban's Suicide Attempt